Fictional Beaus: The Key to Valentine’s Day Bliss


It’s that time again folks; Valentine’s Day. Prepare to find yourself caught in a colorful assault of stuffed bears and endless boxes of chocolate. Now, that might not be so bad for those of you currently standing at the ready with a loved one in one arm and a gaming controller in the other! However, for those of you who don’t have that special someone, well… you have your fictional loves.

In honor of those characters, you know, those in your “would-totally-be-mine-if-not-fake” stockpile, I have compiled a list of gamings most eligible bachelors and sorted them into boyfriend categories! Enjoy and don’t forget to look up the true history of Valentine’s Day. It’s actually for celebrating a Christian martyr, no joke.

Nathan Drake-Uncharted Series “The Adventurer”

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Nathan is the kind of guy you would picture yourself snuggling up next to by the campfire. ‘Nuff said.

John Marston-Red Dead Redemption “The Country Boy”

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Cloud Strife-Final Fantasy Series “The Brooding Babe”

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Got a problem? He does to! Cloud will always be there to listen… In a sad sort of way.

Sora-Kingdom Hearts Series“The Boyish ‘Bae’”

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Sora’s the goof that never left high school! No seriously… How old is this kid?

Link-The Legend of Zelda Series “The Long-distance Lover”

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This warrior will do whatever it takes to get to you! What a gentleman.

Jacob Taylor-Mass Effect “The ‘Hey Girl’ God”

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Jacob Taylor is the Ryan to your Gosling. He’s beautiful and you can get lost in those high definition, chocolate-brown eyes.

Snake-Metal Gear Solid “The Scarred Stud”

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This guy’s had his fair share of excitement and he’s got the scars to prove it. He’ll keep you safe from just about anything.

Greg Kasal-Trauma Center “The Sexy Surgeon”

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Oh Greg, your hair gel shines almost as bright as the surgical lighting. *swoon*

Ezio Auditore-Assassin’s Creed 2 “The Player”

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He’s got 99 problems and you and all of your friends will certainly be one.

Prince of Persia-The Prince of Persia “The Playful One”

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Look at that grin! Look at it! He’s adorable and he knows it.

I wish you all a very happy martyr Valentine’s Day and may the chocolate be with you. I am completely serious, go indulge. You won’t regret it!

Did you spot your valentine? I know I did…